Dear Adrienne (mother of adult children),
Please remember that even though you have sacrificed a ton for your kids, they have no perspective of this, and they may never. You also need to remember that you hurt them in ways you may never know about. They are in the process of figuring out all the ways right now. You can’t help them through this process, but you can help by the way you respond. Do NOT defend yourself. Apologize, because you know that you made mistakes. You know that what worked for one kid, didn’t work for another and that the poor oldest was a guinea pig. You know that your intent was always to do the right thing that helped them the most, but that didn’t always pan out. Or you are still waiting for it to. But your intent doesn’t make them feel any better. So, just apologize for the wounds that you gave them, regardless of what you felt like you were doing at the time.
Your children are adults now and they get to claim their wounds. If you apologize then hopefully they can move faster through this part of life and figure out who God made them to really be.
Love,
(Past) Adrienne