Recovery

So recently, I had a pretty major shoulder surgery to repair some torn things. Honestly, I figured I’d beat the 3-4 weeks in a sling and 12 weeks of PT because, you know, I’m an overachiever. I went into the surgery very healthy and in fairly decent shape so I felt that the odds were in my favor. I know how to push myself too.

HAHA

In reality, I am not an overachiever in this department. I had no idea the depths I would reach during this process. The levels of frustration and discouragement were new to me and I can’t say I met them with much grace. But I can say I have new appreciation. Specifically the things below:

• I don’t know how people with chronic pain are not all morbidly obese. Eating seriously makes you feel better, and when the pain is just always around, you would like to feel better (if even for a little bit with that scoop of Nutella)
• Dressing yourself is such a huge part of your dignity. Even though wearing a bra is no fun, putting it on yourself is important.
• Having full use of your body is a gift.
• Getting a full night’s sleep is critical for all functions. Mental, physical and spiritual. People with chronic fatigue I applaud you. Dragging yourself through a day never feels like a win.
• Pain means different things at different times. One time it means “STOP!”, another it means “this is good” and another it is just meaningless and sucks.

I am also trying to remember daily that my body and I are not enemies. This is a challenge, as I want to do things and my body does not. One day I believe we might be friends again….

Obviously patience is not my greatest virtue. 

But now that I am through the worst of it, (week 15) I can say that I have new depths to my soul. I know the appreciation of (almost) full use of my body will fade, but I also learned that this season had it’s good points. I think God knows I forget things and keeps teaching me that each season, no matter how terrible, is a lesson. I can learn in all emotional states, I just need to be open to what he’s teaching me. 

So my advice (if you are asking!) is to take a minute to look at the season you are in and what you’re learning from it. Appreciate the lessons and the good points of it, hopefully you won’t have to repeat it 🙂

And if you are in a recovery season, find your cheerleaders! But make sure they have the emotional stability to weather your nastiness, because oh boy will it be present. Also remember that weight gain is not the worst thing ever. Eating some chocolate when you need a boost is not something to beat yourself up over, it’s a coping mechanism that is ok.

And one last thing- recovery does end. No matter how dim the light is at the end of the tunnel, it is still there and you will eventually make it through.